I'm so fucking centered right now
If that was your dad, he is hot
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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