I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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