Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
