You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
operation have a gay friend backfired
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
