New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
