quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
