Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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