So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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