im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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