Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
