ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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