that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
