his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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