Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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