I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
