Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
