I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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