I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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