Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
