You smell like stripper and shame
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
