Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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