I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
