lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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