OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
