Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
