the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
