I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
