Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
