NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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