Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
