WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He felt like a one man threesome
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
