Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
