he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
