the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
