Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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