For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
