im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
