I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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