If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
