Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Of course I have a pirate flag
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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