Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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