I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
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