They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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