either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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