everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
