no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
