Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
