I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just found a bag of teeth...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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