your parents love me but you hate me
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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