3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
my poor anus
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
