Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
