To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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