How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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